A Love Letter to All the Men I’ve Loved Before… And the Rest Too

I’ve been really fortunate.
I’ve loved some good men.
Brilliant, funny, tender ones. The kind who show up, listen deeply, hold babies like they mean it, and believe women when they speak. Some even cook. (God bless you.)

This letter is for them — and also for the other ones. The ones who’ve had a few centuries of uninterrupted leadership and still managed to lead us into climate crisis, global inequality, wars we can’t afford, and vibes that scream “tech bro meets Roman emperor.”

This isn’t bitterness. It’s just… perspective.
Nuanced, sure. But earned. Hear me out.

Half a century of watching male leadership fumble its way through history gives a woman a certain clarity.

We’ve seen the script: chest-thumping, empathy-evading, and a deep resistance to asking for directions — even when the planet is on fire.

And yet, women who lead are still called “too emotional,” “too ambitious,” “not feminist enough,” or (my favorite) “unlikeable” — while men with the emotional range of a waffle iron are called “steady” and “strong.”

Think about it.
If Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand, had botched a pandemic the way Trump did, she would’ve been crucified in the headlines. But he got a press conference and a Sharpie.

Take Mexico’s new female president: when Trump threatened tariffs, she didn’t flinch. She stood her ground and refused to be bullied by bluster.
Imagine that — maturity on the world stage.
Just a little reminder that leadership isn’t ruled by ego or tweets.

This isn’t just hypocrisy.
It’s a system built to reward masculine detachment and punish feminine nuance. The patriarchy loves its double standards the way Elon Musk loves attention: desperately and without accountability.

Let’s not pretend it’s going well.
With Trump, JD Vance, and other charisma-challenged chaos agents auditioning for Benevolent Dictator, it’s less “Succession,” more “Dumb and Dumber Do Global Policy.”

So what’s the case for female leadership?
Simple.
We’ve tried centuries of male domination and landed in a mess of melting ice caps, tech overlords, and the rolling back of human rights.
What if we tried something radical — like emotional intelligence, ethical governance, or dare I say it, collaborative leadership?

Now, before the tech bros and mansplainers come for me, let me say it plainly:
This isn’t about erasing men. It’s about evolving leadership. About broadening our definition of strength to include softness, courage to include compassion.

The kind of world we need now isn’t built on domination — it’s built on restoration. And that can’t happen unless we widen the table — and finally hand women the mic.

Now, lovingly I ask:
Please put the mic down and exit stage left.
Or, as the young people used to say — have several seats.

It’s not about party loyalty either.
The Democratic Party has its own tangled mess of performative wokeness, missed opportunities, and chronic spinelessness. And the GOP? Well, in grotesque cowardice, it has clearly ceded its authority to the executive branch — feeding the insatiable power hunger of Donald Trump. All of which, on the part of both parties, gave us Trump 1.0 and now, 2.0.

But that’s a piece for another day.

For now, just this:
The men have had their shot.
And they fumbled the ball.

Please hand it over, boys.
We’ll call you if we need a war started or a spaceship test-driven.

Until then, we’ve got a planet to fix and a world to heal — with competence, compassion, and courage.

With deep hope & love for humanity — gender aside.

Robin
xoxo 💋

💌 Part of the Woman Enough series.
Explore more reflections on gender, power, and becoming here.